Surgery for Mother and Daughter - “The Body, Hair, and Skin Are Received from One’s Parents”

Among Confucius’ teachings in the Classic of Filial Piety, there is a well-known passage as follows.

 

身體髮膚(신체발부) :  “The body, hair, and skin are

受之父母(수지부모) : received from one’s parents,

不敢毁傷(불감훼상) : so one should not dare to damage them;

孝之始也(효지시야) : this is the beginning of filial piety.” 

 

Most of the surgeries I perform every day are procedures that are not strictly necessary for living a normal life.

When I counsel people who come with concerns related to these surgeries, I always feel a weight in my heart.

I find myself reflecting on how much satisfaction and happiness can truly be secured through these procedures, and also whether the concerns these people have are concerns that are mentally healthy.

 

Of course, there are many cases where, before coming for a consultation, they have already reached some level of understanding with their parents about the surgery and come accompanied by them.

But sometimes, from the parent’s perspective, worried and uneasy about surgery, they ask me, “If this were your family member, doctor, would you confidently do this surgery?”

 

Of course, since I perform these surgeries every day and have confidence in the recovery process and results, I have plenty of grounds to answer such a question proudly with, “Yes, I would.”

But I have also thought again about how I could objectively explain that my answer to such a question is sincere.

 

Thankfully, there were occasionally connections that gave me a clear answer about that.

 

One day, on a consultation reservation form, the name of a woman in her early twenties who wanted facial contouring surgery was written down, and next to it was a note with the name and contact information of someone who had received facial contouring surgery from me a year earlier.

I called with a glad heart, and after a warm greeting after a long time, she told me that it was her daughter and asked me to take good care of her.

 

Feeling pleased after finishing the consultation and booking the surgery, I carefully asked whether the mother had tried to dissuade her from having the operation.

If the person had decided on surgery despite the mother’s opposition, that might have become an especially heavy burden of guilt for me as well.

But when I heard the happy reply that the mother had readily encouraged her to go ahead with the surgery, I felt deeply moved.

 

A parent’s love for a child is always unconditional and self-giving, and I could find some value in the thought that my actions, which leave some kind of mark on the body of such a precious person, are not simply something bad, but rather something a mother could comfortably recommend to her daughter.

 

As time passed, there were many cases in which the daughter had surgery and the mother had surgery, but in facial contouring surgery, there were also cases where the mother had surgery first and, after some time, the daughter later had the procedure; and each time I encountered such connections, I cannot describe how precious and grateful I felt.

 

Because I have had these grateful and moving connections with people who eased the worries and burdens in my heart about matters that I had always approached carefully, I think I can be happy while performing these surgeries every day, and I am also grateful.